We Remember

It’s been two years since. Those were the darkest days. Then came along your baby brother and our lives brighten up once more. Forget you we did not, our first baby.

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Birthday Addendum

Before I had a child of my own, I did not quite understand the fuss some parents make over first birthday parties. At that age, they are not going to remember anything anyway, right?

Now that I’ve undergone the baptism of fire that is surviving a baby’s first year, I totally and wholeheartedly get it. Without a doubt, the little one’s first year of life is a milestone worth celebrating but wouldn’t you know it, a birthday party for a one year old is very much for the parents too. It’s a day for the couple to give each other a pat on the back for a job well done, a day for loved ones to gather to celebrate the journey of the little family.

******

Dearest Julius,

I love your collagen filled cheeks and how cute you looked in that genuine leather cowboy vest your little Aunt got for you. I love our family portrait. I love the little cowgirl in checked dress riding horsey. I love how you smiled sweetly for the camera with 二姨. I love how much fun you had with 公公婆婆. I love how you love those bubbles. I love the look of delight in your eyes when you took the first bite of your cake. I love that we celebrated you but most of all I love you.

I hope that these pictures taken at your party will always bring a smile to your face like they do to mine whenever you look at them.

Love,
Mommy

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Happy 1st Birthday Julius!

For the longest time, I couldn’t decide between throwing one big bash or having several cosy parties with family and close friends for Julius’ first birthday celebration. As the day drew closer, I was leaning towards the latter as it was not an easy task finding a suitable venue. That is, until by sheer luck we came across Picotin at the old Turf Club. We like the laidback and communal feel of the restaurant and its surroundings, and the wonderful lady boss Jacky and her staffs are the most easygoing and flexible people I’ve met. A few email exchanges later, we nailed the place. And they don’t even require a booking deposit, how rare!

With a month left to the big day, I dived into party planning right away. Scouring the Internet for ideas and gathering them onto an inspiration board I created using Pinterest, the whole process was much more fun and not as stressful as I had expected. Thanks to one of Alvin’s colleague who had kindly agreed to be the day’s official photographer, we can now relive moments from the party years after it’s over. And here’s a write up on the party prep:

By virtue of the restaurant’s address and the fact that it used to be a stable, a cowboy theme for the party came quite naturally. I wish I could say I design the invite myself but no, I got this off Etsy and simply customised the wordings. Love the broomstick horse and yellow star, plus I thought the silhouette of the little cowboy looks a lot like my little boy too. ;)

More Etsy finds here.

My love for this little-cowboy-with-lasso-and-stars-in-boots silhouette is apparent. It made its first appearance in this simple DIY sunflower centerpiece that brightens any buffet spread.

A classic sign for the cutest little outlaw WANTED for the high crime of GROWING UP TOO FAST!!! It took us more than half an hour to capture a shot that is not blurry and just the right size but it was worth all the effort. I then enlarged the sign, printed several copies and put them up all over the restaurant. It makes for a wonderful keepsake as well as a nice piece of decoration in his room after the party ended.

We Love You Julius! Happy 1st Birthday! Thought I’d make use of this existing chalkboard for the birthday message instead of the usual birthday banner.

What’s a party without favours? The red and blue rimmed cowboy straw hats, cowboy printed balloons and stuffed horses are all amazing finds from Oriental Trading . I ordered them online and delivered to a friend living in the States who then sweetly routed them to me. Not only were they a hit with the kids, even the adults love them too! But the ultimate crowd pleaser had to be the bottles of bubbles wrapped like candies using squares of red and blue bandana cloth. The sight of bubbles floating in the air made the birthday boy smiled a whole lot that day. :)

I’m the kind of guests who’d pay attention to background music being played at an event so imagine my surprise and delight when I came across the recently released “Cowboy Playground” from Putumayo Kids. It consists of 12 classic cowboy songs that are anything but kiddy sounding. Together with the “Animal Playground”, they dominated air time that afternoon. I am not sure how many people actually took notice of it but to me the right music certainly adds to the atmosphere of a party.

The scumptious buffet line consisting of afternoon tea spread and a few ala carte items off the menu: An assortment of open faced sandwiches, tart Provencal, scones with clotted cream and jam, banana bread, chocolate chip cookies, 3 giant 21″ pizzas, calamari, chicken wings, green salad and jugs of Picotin’s homemade iced lemon tea. Oh and pints of Stella Artois too. Yes, we served beer at this one yo party! :D

The beautiful and well-made red and blue bandana buntings were another gem sourced from Etsy. I had wanted to hang them up but they looked pretty neat as skirting against the white tablecloth too.

Ah… my little cowboy and his broomstick horse! I chanced upon it when out for lunch on a random afternoon and knew I had to get it for the party. Press one ear and you’ll hear a galloping sound, press the other and the horse will neigh and grunt to a stop. Even though he wasn’t able to “gallop” on his own yet, he sure had a lot of fun playing and “riding” it.

Here’s where it made another appearance. I emailed the print of the little cowboy silhouette to the restaurant together with a sketch of the cake which I had painstakingly researched and designed. Instead of a bakery which charges exorbitant rate for a decorated cake of this size, Picotin was able to customise my dream cake and it definitely did not disappoint. Not only was it reasonably priced at $48/kg (this is a 2 kg cake), the dense chocolate cake tasted delicious too. It turned out exactly the way I wanted it. Needless to say, I am extremely pleased with it!

Family and friends gathered for Julius’ first birthday song and cake moment… It was past his naptime but thankfully he made it to the cake cutting session without too much fuss!

Completely mesmerised by the flickering candle light, I made a birthday wish on behalf of my darling while my sweet 2 yo niece helped to blow the birthday candle.

A sweet gesture from the hubby, I received a gorgeous bouquet of hydrangea. :))

Finally, some shots of our lovely guests on a most lovely afternoon. Thank you all for indulging and showering us with your presents, hugs and kisses. We feel soooo loved!

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First Year

What an amazing 12 months it has been.

Just a year ago, you came into our lives. You were so tiny when you came out and although you are not that tiny now, you will always be our little baby.

Mommy remembers very well the moments before being pushed into the OT. I was both nervous and scared at the thought of having my belly spilt open, but mostly I was eager and excited at the prospect of finally meeting you in person. You were a breech baby and never once turned. According to the doctor, you were settled comfortably like a cross-legged little Buddha, hence the decision for a Cesarean birth.

When I first laid eyes on you, it was as if I’ve known and loved you for a very long time. I looked into your tiny face, held your tiny hands and took in those first wisp of baby scent. The reality that I made a baby, I am a mother and you are my baby simply blew my mind. And it still does till today!

Mommy never regretted not returning to the workforce. In fact, being a stay-at-home-mom was the best decision I’ve ever made. It was tough in the beginning, being an inexperienced first time parent but I was fortunate to receive lots of help. Daddy helps out after work and during the weekends, some afternoons we hang out with 公公，婆婆，二姨，璇表姐 but mostly it was just you and Mommy. Tiring as it may be, our quiet one-on-one time together is also one of my most cherished memories of us in your first year.

It’s been an incredible journey watching you grow from a wee bub into a happy little boy. All the milestones you achieved- your first coo, first smile, first rollovers, first solids, first tooth, first word, first step, first birthday- everything you learned and discovered about the world, we were always there beside you. We are so proud of you, our dear son. Thank you for all the love and joy you brought to us. We love you so so so very much!

It’s been a fun first year and we are looking forward to more growth and adventures in year two!

Love & Kisses,

Mommy

P.S You started walking with more confidence and you had 8 teeth by the time you turned one. :)

Just the 3 of us on your actual birthday at Laurent Bernard Chocolatier, Robertson Quay.

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Julius- 10 & 11 months update

Over the space of a month, Julius’ development has exploded and progressed at lightning speed. He likes cruising along the couch, our bed and spends a significant amount of time each day circling the coffee table and his cot. He can stand on his own, squat down and stand up again and has been doing this repeatedly for quite some time now. He does lots of clapping, waving bye, pointing, and responds to our requests for fly kiss and a host of other “tricks” that we’ve been teaching him.

He has developed a sizeable memory bank and is extrememly aware of his surrounding these days. His circle of trust has expanded to include his cousin Addy and 二姨, as his eyes lit up in instant recognition and he’d greet them wtih a happy cheer whenever he sees them. While he is still generous with his smiles – he hasn’t display that many signs of separation anxiety – he is slowly becoming more selective of people whom he’d allow to carry him.

On the linguistic front, he’s been making an array of sounds. He’d go ba-ba-ba one moment and neh-neh-neh the other. He is able to say mum-mum when he is hungry, and on several occasions, acknowledged my presence with a loud and clear Mama or Ma-mi. His first real word is “buk” (book), followed by bird and ball. Ever since he “discovered” his voice, he has been experimenting with his vocal range by shrieking whenever he gets excited or angry. There is nary a quiet moment at home with the little guy these days!

He has 6 teeth now and is eating pretty well. I am very pleased with the progress he has made in the feeding department. He also guzzles water readily, something I learn not to take for granted.

A week before he turns one, Julius took his first step. He was playing in our room and I was seated on the floor a few steps away when he took my clapping as a cue and started tottering towards me with an impish grin. One-two-three, before flinging himself into my waiting arms, his face flushed with relief and excitement! Four tiny BIG steps, yet another milestone!

As the days go by, he gets increasingly aware of and curious about the things going on around him. He loves his daily walk(s) at the park where he’d point to birdies and doggies animatedly. And when we are out on our regular grocery trips to the mall, he’d observe the world contentedly from the comfort of the carrier.

He enjoys interactive play now and would repeat actions and sounds he knows will elicit a response from us. When we say “Giddyup” he’d kick and bounce as if he is riding a horse and flash the happiest grin when doing it. He will point to his precious bird, fish and pinwheel when prompted and look at the direction of the front door when he hears “gai-gai”. He understands “No” very early on and would stop briefly whatever he is doing or about to do, look over to give a part defiant part mischievous look before proceeding with it. He gives the most affectionate kisses to Brown Bear, Chick Chick and more recently to Daddy and Mommy.

Julius has a knack for imitating sounds that we make. He’d scrunch his nose and sniff and snort, smack his lips, make hissing and swishing sounds, and does a particularly impressive blubber lips. I love mucking around with him on the bed post diaper change, singing silly Cantonese nursery rhymes, blowing raspberries on his tummy, and just taking in his baby scent and infectious chuckles, all the while wishing for the moment to last forever.

He is a big fan of the Baby Signing Time series and has been watching it since he was six months old. He especially love the “Pets I Love”, “Diaper Dance”, “Here I Go”, “Strolling”, “Stop and Go”, and “Opposites” segments. Whenever they come on, he’d point to the screen and bounce up and down happily. He can sign “eat”, “hat”, “dog”, “tree”, “leaf”, “milk” and “bye” though some are not exactly sign in the most accurate manner.

Bath time is becoming more challenging with his increasing mobility. He climbs in and out of the bath tub and crawls all over. Good thing that he’s pretty cool with water pouring over his head so we’ve since ditched the tub for shower. At 11 months, I introduced formula for his afternoon milk feed. So far, he seems pretty flexible switching between breast and formula milk. I think we are weaning at a nice and comfortable pace.

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A Dad’s Promise

Backlogs, backlogs, more backlogs. If only Mommy has 48 hours a day!

For a change, here’s a birthday note your Daddy wrote more than a week ago which I only got around to posting now. The story of your birth and our year as a family. Know that you are very much loved, our darling son.

********

As I paced up and down the hospital ward, I was wondering when Prof Mahesh would call me in. It was 20 min to 4pm I could remember. Before I knew it, I was right outside the operating theatre, waiting for the biggest moment in my life. 5 min later, I was right beside your Mom, who was lying down on the bed, attended to by Prof Mahesh and an army of assistants. I was surprised to see at least 10 other people besides us in the room!

The procedure began, Mahesh and his deputy surgeon started to make an incision on your Mum’s tummy. Being the ever adventurous dad, I was soon standing to catch a better view of the operation. All this while, your mum was lying down, nonchalant with the anesthesia, and sometimes talking to me. Mahesh was as calm and composed as you would expect with one of his experience. Before long, at around 4.25, Mahesh and his assistant began tugging at Mum’s tummy and started pulling you out. I didn’t know what to expect. First came your legs, then your hips, followed by your shoulders and finally your head. I can never forget the sight of you together with the cod out for the first time. It was beautiful. Initially there was silence but soon followed by your roaring cry. Mahesh cut your cod and the nurses hurried to cover you in cloth. You were covered in that white stuff, quite unlike anything I’ve seen in my life. Then they put you in your Mum’s arms and we took our first family pic. The doctors stitched her up while the nurses ushered you to a room to be weighed.

There you were, lying so peaceful, so serene on the weighing scale. I was close to tears and might have teared a bit. My life changed forever, for the better. I began looking at you from a distance, singing to you. The first song being Any Dream Will Do. As if you could hear, you opened an eye and peeped at me. I was washed with elation but at the same time a heavy sense of responsibility descended on me. The nurses pushed you into a room with other infants for monitoring. I stood outside and gazed upon you, filled with an indescribable happiness and the pride of a father. Some time passed before your Mum’s stitching procedure was done. The nurses ushered her into the room and all three of us were together once more. The nurses passed you into Mummy’s arms and she gazed upon you. You opened, then closed your eyes and seemed to smile through your gaze.

We’ve waited, sometimes with trepidation, for 10 months for this moment. At a point, it seemed hopeless. Mahesh said it was 50-50. Our previous experience with your sibling in HK wasn’t lost on us and we fully grappled with a second loss. But God is kind and showed grace to bring you to our arms and we will never forget that moment, forever transfixed in our minds.

We brought you home and needless to say, didn’t know much to expect. With your Gong Gong and Po Po’s help, we slowly eased into some rhythm. But to say there was any routine or structure those early days was to kid ourselves. What Baby Julius wouldn’t do was to sleep for longer. Feeding was mostly fine and you properly picked up latching and sucking at an early stage. Sleep, on the other hand, was a different story. I remembered nights when you woke up 6-8 times crying. Basically meant Mum had very little sleep of which most was interrupted. I guess we would never fully understand the sacrifice needed unless put in that situation. This was not to take away the joy and pride of being Dad and Mum for the first time. We were thrilled but sleep was something hard to come by. As the first 3 months went by, it didnt seem to get much better but we soon started intensely reading on sleep. Sometimes the crying before you slept was so intense and so long, it absolutely killed us. Then we realized, you may have colic. You may have wind. And you definitely had reflux.

We would take turns to rock you to sleep. Sometimes 20min, other times as long as 45 min. We would then proceed to place you oh so gently onto the bed. Sometimes you might wake. We would then have to do it all over again. Your sleep time would become our bane. By the 4th month, we came to agree that we needed to try to let you sleep on your own. Sounded daunting at the start, but we soon made headway and the transition was smoother than we thought.

Daddy never thought fatherhood would be so rewarding yet challenging. Because of you, Daddy trained his vocal cords and exercised his biceps. In time when you have your own children, I do hope you will be as hands-on as Daddy :)

Julius, it has been a most wonderful 1 yr knowing you, loving you and caring for you. In time to come, you’ll grow ever so big and take on life’s new challenges. But be assured that Daddy will sing to you and carry you for as long as he can. That’s Daddy’s promise to you.

Love
Daddy

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Julius- 8 & 9 months updates

My baby Julius is just 10 days away from turning ONE! How exciting!

But before that, here’s some catching up on the blog front…

This is a series of photos taken using the iphone when we were home alone on some afternoons. My 8 months old was getting very mobile and would busy himself exploring every nook and cranny of our apartment every minute of his waking hour.

As with most babies, he likes playing with anything forbidden and especially adores the power sockets, plugs, switches, wires and the door stopper. When he gets bored with one corner, he’d turn and crawl off in another direction in search for the next uncharted frontier. For a while, he was into pulling himself up and pushing against the door, fridge and walls. He’d let go of one hand, bounce up and down in a crazed but cute manner, before plopping down on his big nappy-bum. I called him my little 303 stuntman. ;)

Except for the occasional patches of flaky skin and a flare scare in HK (suspected reaction to yeast extract in a certain baby jar food), his eczema has improved significantly. It is becoming easier and much more enjoyable preparing his meals as his food repetoire expands.

He also uttered his first “word” around this time. It started off as “da-da” and he’d repeat it over and over again. Slowly it evolved into “da-di” before it reached current rendition of “deh-deh-deh-deh-deh-di!”. I don’t blame the Dad for being absolutely moony over his little guy.

At 9 months, Julius had 3.5 teeth and loves flashing his trademark toothy grin whenever someone comes up to him to say hi. When he is not teething, he has a hearty appetite and would wolf down big bowls of porridge. So far, he hasn’t shown any obvious dislike yet so it’s still rather fun feeding him.

He loves tossing the balls around and can play with them for quite a long time. He’d run after the yellow ball, bounce it across the living room and chase after the red ball, quite like a never-ending wind-up toy that just keeps going and going and going and going.

One of my favourite moments is to watch him bolt towards the front door when he hears the clicking sound of someone opening the door. He would stop halfway in his track and if he sees his favourite Gong Gong or Poh Poh, he’d let out a happy little yelp before charging towards them and reaching out for a cuddle.

Naptime was still quite challenging but we devised a way of lengthening his sleep by putting a hand firmly on his back at the 40th minute mark when he would normally stir and wake up. It worked pretty well most of the time and he was able to get the rest he needed in the afternoon.

Finally, we moved him to his own room around this time. Yes, our little baby who had colic and reflux, who needed to howl for an hour every night and could only be soothed by the sound of hairdryer, is sleeping on his own and through the night on most nights now. A remarkable little milestone indeed.

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Mother and Son

Forgive me for I am suffering from deprivation of (decent) pictures taken of me and my son.

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First Flight

It was between Japan and Hong Kong for his first overseas destination. Not only because they have a special place in our hearts but also we figured that 7 hours is the most I am willing to spend with a baby onboard. We picked HK eventually, because the shorter distance makes for a nice trial and there was a business trip scheduled right about then. It is somewhat appropriate too that he pays a visit to the land where his elder sibling was conceived and lost.

It was a short 5D4N trip (May 8-12th). While the flights were manageable and yes, we finally get to enjoy extra legroom, traveling will never be quite the same anymore (not for the next five years at least). Baby was of course stuck to my boobs during take off and landing, we took turns to eat while the other played with and humored the little one. Inflight entertainment, what’s that?!

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Confessions

I’d like to think of my blog as a happy little island where I muse, ramble, chronicle, journalize and photograph life in general– the everyday small stuffs, milestones, celebrations, baby, travel tales, recipes and well, whatever that tickles my fancy.

It is like a little notebook for me to jot down memories to be shared with future generations (yes lofty idea I know!), and not meant to be a diary of my deepest and darkest secrets. Most times, I try to avoid writing too many negative things, not that I want to paint a perfectly rosy picture of my life, but simply because I’ve never been the kind that rant by writing and feel better after.

That having said, this entry exists because I do not want to sugarcoat motherhood. Along with the beautiful moments, there are also the not so pleasant and far fom desirable ones that a mother grapples with, inevitably.

Truth is, I am not exactly the most loving and patient mother when I get overtired.

For the most part of last month, I was feeling all bothered and frustrated because DZ was sleeping very poorly in the afternoon. He had trouble napping past the 45 minute mark and I found myself cursing whenever he woke up crying for me. I attribute my baby sleep obsession to the time when DZ had trouble sleeping both day and night and I found myself pouring through literature, both online and off, in the hope of helping all of us get some sleep. While I am immensely thankful that his night sleep had improved remarkably since, nap continues to be a battle that we fight on a daily basis.

On several occasions, after rocking an almost 10kg load to sleep and only to have him woke up 35 minutes later, I was overcome with anger, exasperation but most of all exhaustion. When attempts to rock him back to sleep failed, I bounced him roughly on the bed and glared at him accusingly. My baby burst into tears from the shock and so did I as I realised my folly and remorse gripped me. It was no doubt a case of mommy burnout but really I have no excuse for my behaviour. I felt terribly lousy about it and still do whenever I recall the look of hurt in his eyes.

I would have continue to be really hung up with things had I not visit this site. I read her stories and I cried. And cried. And hang my head in shame. The strength and sheer determination of this woman amazes me. Nothing like a little inspiration with a dose of reality check.

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